Tips for oral sex – On people with Vulvas

April 27 2022

As in the post on oral sex for people with penises, it is important to highlight the use of condoms for vulva (female condoms), which consist of a thin and resistant cover with two rings, one internal that is placed inside the vagina and another external that covers the external genitalia, that is, labia majora, minora, mons pubis and clitoris. This is a contraceptive method that protects against unintentional pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), which is why we again state that condom use is always a good recommendation, mainly for occasional encounters. In case of penetration, vulva condoms should not be used together with a penis condom since the friction between them can cause a rupture.  Like all condoms, it is single use, and should be discarded after.


It is always important to maintain good hygiene of both the mouth and genitals, whether oral sex is practiced using a barrier method or without it.


As we’ve said before, there is no "right" way to do it. The key for the person receiving oral sex to enjoy it is to ask them what they like.  Communication first and foremost!


As for the tips...


  • Not everything is about the clit! The clitoris is not only the visible part of it, that is, the glans. Depending on its size, and the state of erection or relaxation, it can be partially or totally covered by a skin fold (clitoral hood). Part of the clitoris are also the corpora cavernosa and vestibular bulbs, which are located below the skin, the latter are located below the labia majora. All these structures have nervous and erectile tissue, so, when stimulated, they fill up with blood and increase in size. This means that orgasm can be reached in other ways besides only stimulating the glans of the clitoris directly, although it can be more difficult.
  • You got the moves baby! A fundamental thing to facilitate pleasure, will be the movements that can be done with the tongue and suction. Start slowly on the clitoris and as the arousal increases, then increase the intensity.  Retracting the clitoral hood can be of great help in case the sensitivity of the area is not so strong. Tongue movements can be horizontal, vertical, oblique or allow your imagination to fly, and try to write numbers or letters (the whole alphabet) as if the tip of the tongue were a pencil and the clitoris a blank sheet. Do not forget also to stimulate the labia even though the focus should be on the clitoris (for most people).
  • I lube you. It is crucial to maintain proper lubrication, so it is helpful to consider using a flavored lubricant to aid salivation.
  • Hands on. It also helps to incorporate the hands, not only to slide them and stimulate the external genitalia but also to be able to introduce fingers into the vagina, and in this way stimulate the other parts of the clitoris. You can also stimulate the perianal area, or simply any part of the body by simply holding or caressing the skin of the person, while performing oral sex.
  • The rhythm of the night. It is important to maintain a proper rhythm as intermittent stimulation makes it difficult to reach orgasm.
  • Just like the male glans, mind your teeth, don’t bite the clit! (Unless asked to do so ;) )


Oral sex does not have an order of priority, it can be given at the beginning of the encounter or be the grand finale to get the person with vulva to reach orgasm if they did not achieve it previously.


In conclusion: hygiene, protection, rhythm, consensus, communication and have fun!



Dr Merkel