Let's face it, breakups suck, even if it's something you wanted and initiated. There's nothing worse than knowing it's time to end a relationship and trying to figure out the best way to do it without hurting yourself, or your almost ex-partner, in the process. You also don't want to end a relationship you once cared about in a negative or toxic way; after all, you chose to date your partner at one time for a reason. Regardless of why you feel your breakup is necessary, whether you don't work well together, they are not meeting your needs, or you've simply grown apart, it's essential to do it in a mature and considerate way. For those looking for some guidance on how to do it, you've come to the right place. We'll tell you the best ways to ensure your breakup goes as smoothly as possible, so you both can move on with your lives!
Do Not Drag It
If it has already come to the point where you know this relationship isn’t for you then it’s time. Dragging it will only waste your time and theirs. With this we don’t mean for you to make your decision in a rush or put an end to the relationship if you’re not sure, but to do it once you know in your heart that it is not what you want and need.
Rehearsing is one of the best ways to mentally prepare for a breakup. Think about what you want to say ahead of time and how the other person might react. You can go over as many scenarios as you like to help put your mind at ease and make you feel more prepared. Remember, if it doesn't go exactly as you rehearsed, that's ok; the amount of time you spend before planning for different possibilities will still help give you confidence when the time comes.
Do It In Person
There is nothing worse than being broken up with over text or the phone. It makes you feel disrespected and thrown away, which is never something you want another person to feel. Put on your big boy/girl pants and do it in person. It's the mature and respectful thing to do and actually makes the process of finding closure and moving on easier. Also, don't do it in a public place! having privacy is good for expressing emotions.
Honesty really is the best policy, and in a breakup, it's essential. If your partner did something that caused you to want to end the relationship, they deserve to know so they can work on it for themselves and future relationships. Being honest doesn't mean, however, to be rude or inconsiderate. You should always be mindful of the other person's feelings and put yourself in their shoes. Treat them the way you would want someone to treat you!
Listen And Answer
Listening during a breakup may not be the easiest thing to do, especially if your partner begins bringing up your flaws. Even though it may be hard (or piss you off), listening to what they have to say is a huge part of a healthy breakup. Answer any questions they have clearly and respectfully, so they can understand what led to the breakdown of the relationship and why you no longer want to continue on with it. They may also provide you with some feedback that might help you grow as a person so you can become a more well-rounded individual.
Feel Baby Feel
Did we mention breakups suck? Well, it's true, and we're often tempted to shut down our emotions, so we don't have to feel the pain. Even if you're the one who decided to end the relationship, it still hurts! Allow yourself to feel however you feel in the moment, letting all emotions in. It's better to feel them then and there than stuff them down and experience them twice as bad later. Make sure you avoid falling into the blame game, though; turning the blame onto the other person is a common way to avoid your feelings and push them onto them. All that does is hurt you both in the long run, so choose the high road and steer clear of blame.
Take The Time
After you've ended your relationship, it can be tempting to jump right into another one. Being by yourself all of a sudden after having spent a lot of time with someone might feel overwhelming at first. However, taking time to yourself to be with yourself has enormous benefits for you and your future partner. When you take time to "date" yourself, you allow yourself the opportunity to go back to being who you truly are again, something that can sometimes get lost in a relationship. Even if your breakup went well and you feel ready to jump back on the saddle right away, it's always a good idea to take a step back and leave some time for self-reflection, healing, and growth!
No one likes going through a breakup, it's awkward, painful, and just plain sucks! However, there are ways that you can make the most of the situation and avoid ending your relationship in a negative or toxic way. Implementing these tips can make your breakup less traumatic for everyone involved. You can have a healthy breakup, and both you and your ex-partner will be better for it!