POV: You meet that special someone.
For the first while, you absolutely can’t keep your hands off each other. You find yourself constantly thinking about them, desiring them, and your heart beats a little faster every time you see them. However, before you know it, you start working longer hours to land that promotion, family responsibilities take over, and you barely acknowledge your partner before collapsing on the bed and falling asleep.
Does this sound familiar?When you first meet your significant other, your dopamine and cortisol levels rise through the roof, meaning that you are in a constant state of infatuation, passion, and pleasurable stress. In fact, because of the euphoria you feel due to these hormones, you can even experience insomnia and a loss of appetite, making you so in love that you literally can’t eat or sleep. However, over time, you begin to feel that you already know everything there is to know about your partner, and the fire starts to fizzle out.
Know that this is completely normal, and that it happens to everyone. While it might seem impossible to start that fire once again, know that, with effort and curiosity about your partner, you can bring that flaming, sexy bonfire back to life.
Here are some quick tips and tricks to spice things up again!
1. Be honest about your feelingsWe know it can be tough to talk about your emotions. However, sharing your emotions openly with your partner is crucial in forging healthy and long-lasting bonds. While it might be terrifying to be vulnerable, it’s this intimacy and trust that helps you connect with your partner all over again.
Sharing with your partner about what you need to rekindle the relationship is the first and most crucial step to making it happen. Remember that it is equally important to be open and understanding towards what your partner shares as well, as everyone is different and has their own experiences!
2. Show gratitude and affectionOne thing that can happen over time is taking your partner for granted. They make you feel loved, appreciated, and cared for, and over time you stop showing your gratitude for all the small things they do. By acknowledging your partner’s efforts and telling them that you really appreciate something they do for you, they will feel seen and cared for.
Furthermore, remember to go out of your way to make your partner smile or feel loved. The little things really do go a long way. Get to know your partner’s love languages here and pay close attention to what they appreciate most. Whether they feel cared for when you remember their exact, ten-step Starbucks order, or they love cuddling on the couch during your favorite Netflix show, try to be conscious of what your partner needs and provide it in special ways.
3. Plan date nights and schedule intimacyWhile spontaneity is important, we understand the difficulties of adult life. Whether this involves an evening Zoom meeting or taking the dog out for the fourth walk of the day, life never stops moving at a million miles an hour. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s essential to schedule in quality time during the week that you can spend with your partner.
In order to spice up your sex life and find intimacy with your partner again, you need to prioritize doing the deed and connecting with one another physically. So sit down, compare schedules, and start looking forward to that special, steamy night!
4. Shop for a new toy togetherExploring your sexual desires and pleasures can be incredibly exciting and can help you discover fantasies your partner has that you were never aware of. We know that going to a physical store might feel awkward or overwhelming at first, so we recommend shopping online first (don’t forget that glass of red wine)!
Check out our tips for buying the perfect sex toy with your partner and browse our online store for the perfect selection!
5. Flirt and sextEggplant emoji, anyone? That’s right! Many couples in long-term relationships find themselves wearing sweatpants and lounging on the couch, instead of dressing up in lingerie and having toe-curling, mood-changing sex. Because you’re always on your phone anyway, why not send your partner a quick, raunchy text to get them thinking about you, and to let them know you’re thinking of them? Sexting when you’re apart lets your partner know that you’re thinking of them in an intimate way, and builds up anticipation that will ultimately erupt into something passionate.
Try telling your partner what you’re dreaming of doing to them, or what you’re planning on wearing (or not wearing) on date night! When you’re together, don’t forget to flirt by touching your partner gently, looking them up and down, or paying them a special compliment. This will communicate to your partner that you find them attractive and desirable!
Whether you try all of these tips (we hope you will!) or just a few, remember that every couple is different, and that the most important thing is to check in with your partner to learn about their perspectives, needs, and desires.